#Dating: Dear Suitor, FYI, it's not yahoo circa 1998

With all of the noise going on in the world, and particularly in social media right now - I wanted to provide a bit of levity with a pretty hilarious email exchange (mostly one sided) that has happened over the last couple of days. 

<tangent> Bee tee dubs, this is still TO.THIS.DAY one of my absolute favorite songs.

Here's my second favorite:

Oh, and if anyone has tickets to see Sting and Peter Gabriel at the Hollywood Bowl and wants a +1 please message. #shamelessplug

Back to the song with the post. I get sidetracked by shiny things: 

</tangent> 

I was somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Georgia last week when I got this email:

He sent this email through the contact form on my personal website which I'm going to assume he found through Instagram (since he mentioned the photo I posted with my brother and me at his OCS graduation)

Super sweet, reminded me of Llyod Dobler... 

I replied back when I had a chance and quickly realized I had a handful of hours free. Judging by how far it took me to drive down, if he truly wanted to meet up, I'd be game to at least grab a coffee and exchange a high five.

I don't do "destination dating" or any of that buh,buh,buh, bullshit anymore - but for the last seven years anytime I'm traveling, I'll make time to meet up with anyone in the area. Talk Nerdy never would have happened without so much love and support, so I truly mean it when I say even if I don't have time, I will fucking make time. 

I messaged back ... 

Judging by what he said next, am not sure that he understood that I was only in town temporarily? 

Yep, totally doesn't get that I don't live here. 

No big dee, but he lost my attention at this point (because like I said, I was totally willing to meet up but only had a few hours available). I ignored the fact that I'm not actually following him on Instagram; I also didn't really care for unsolicited pictures, although I did have to commend him on not sending one of his little Richard. 

Next, he sends this ... 

Still with no response (outside of that very first email), last night I came home from watching the Warriors game over at the Parlor and saw yet another message from el suitor-rino:  

Wait, he's STILL messaging days later? This better be good. 

Go on ... 

Go on ... 

What is it with men and apple pie? Is it an Oedipus complex? 

I'm so confused at this point, but 99.999% certain that he's trolling my Instagram feed and chocking the ... 

Did someone mention chocolate? 

ANNNNNDDD SCENE! 

ANNNNNDDD SCENE! 

Want to know my absolute favorite part of this one sided exchange?
THIS:

Well done.

Really fucking weird ... 

and never going to destination date everrrrrrrr again ... 

but ... 

well done. 

You typed that mini novel ...

all from your iPhone. 

That sir, is an accomplishment! 

Thanks for the smile. Hit it Hammer.