#ThatAwkwardMoment: When Wonder Woman ends up in a hot tub with three other people
I woke up to this in my "other" folder on Facebook this morning ...
Few things ...
1. My writing is not for everyone. Totally get that. I do not care to speak to the masses. (That is said in her defense because she's, I believe, more than twice my age.)
2. I did say I was lonely on the West Texas Investors Club TV show because it was the truth. I really did grow up in chat rooms, and had difficulty making friends. What was days worth of filming for the show turned into 30 minutes of airtime. Producers picked what they wanted for the narrative. That wasn't in my control, but my friends and I did have a good laugh about it.
3. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Appreciate the read.
I had an unexpectedly wild weekend. Speaking of which, Mom and Dad - prolly not a good idea to read this.
Last Wednesday, I was en route back from Miami to LA after spending a wonderful week with my family (truly). It was awesome getting to catch up with my brother whom has spent the last few months in boot camp. He's going to be a second lieutenant in the Army when he's finished - am SO proud!!
My flight left around 6pm, and was routed through Atlanta. Before I had left, my brother gave me a heads up that there had been some "threats" made to Los Angeles.
Not a problem, I said thanking him. I refuse to live in fear.
I get it, he said. Be smart.
I landed in Atlanta and as the wheels touched down I turned on my phone.
EEEP EEP EEPP rang the emergency alert from my phone.
EEEP EEP EEPP rang the emergency alert from the person next to me.
EEEP EEP EEPP rang the emergency alert from the people down the aisle.
EEEP EEP EEPP rang the emergency alert from HALF THE FUCKING PLANE.
I look down and read a warning for flash floods in the area. This isn't good I thought to myself.
As I deplaned and found my gate I saw a notification come through via text that I had been delayed ... by a lot.
At this point, my flight was slated to take off around 11pm. Walking through the airport and seeing how many other flights were delayed I placed these odds ...
One of the people who saw it was my buddy Danny ...
Danny and I met through a social media competition either before or directly after I started Talk Nerdy (November 2009). We had to "prove" how "good" we were in social by singing for our supper and promoting this new start up. Danny KILLED it, and 3/4 of the way through (once I realized he was truly running a better campaign), I backed out to support him. He appreciated the help, and we stayed friends. What sucked was that the job wound up being bogus and basically the people behind the start up were just using us to gain momentum in social. The founder eventually admitted to me that it was shady, and I said it sucked because Danny did a good job. Oh well.
Danny is also friends with @TribbleReese whom you might know from the Bravo show The New Atlanta, or CMT's Sweet Home Alabama:
I smiled throughout the delay happy that I can still be dropped off anywhere in the country and find a friend/ and or place to stay.
Who says twitter doesn't have value?!?!
After almost four hours of wondering if it was or wasn't going to happen, I wound up getting on the plane and landing back in LA around 2 am.
The next morning, I connected with my buddy Mike who was confirming our plans for NYE.
See, earlier in the week he texted saying he was invited to this house party in the hills (such an LA thing to say), and sent me the link to apply to attend (there was a waiting list).
I don't believe in waiting for people to "hand you things" in life. If I want something, I get off my ass and get it. I had the guy's name, so to the google I went and very quickly was able to find his email address. This is what I sent ...
One of the first things that populated in a search for his name was the fact that he dated a (fairly) popular actress/ model. Not knowing how difficult this party was going to be to get into I angled the Hollywood route.
Here was his response ...
Again, the concept of value.
1 google search + 1 email address + few lines of copy + Deadline.com article = access to a party I was trying to get into.
Mike and his gf agreed to meet at my place so we could grab a LYFT together. When they arrived I reached out to a gf that lived a few blocks away, as she was having a party that we were also invited to.
Unfortunately, the timing didn't work out, so I shot her a text back as we got in the car saying we would try and stop by after.
We travel up the VERY narrow and windy road finally arriving at the house.
I laughed getting out of the car noticing a food truck parked outside.
Smart, I thought.
We were greeted by men in tuxedos (they requested you dress up), and much like the host promised my name was on the list.
Step inside, he said.
The host happened to walk downstairs at that exact moment so I outstretched my hand introducing myself and thanking him for the invite.
Not a problem, he said with a killer smile. Enjoy the party!
We will, thank you.
We had purposefully gotten there on the early side to scope out the lay of the land and get a few drinks before it got insanely busy.
The property was really beautiful ...
Mike and I met btw three years ago after I was trying to escape a SUPER douchey Silicon Beach tech event. I met him and a group of his guy friends at a bar in Venice and we TOTALLY hit it off.
So much so that I not only went home with one of his friends that night, but we actually wound up dating for a bit.
<tangent> Also, REALLY awkward that I had a work call for a condom sponsorship WHILE I was sitting having breakfast with the guy I went home with the night before. The post is pretty funny.
Mike is from LA, and also a social butterfly. One of the first things we did at the party was place bets on who was going to bump into someone they knew first.
Dinner is on whoever loses.
DONE, I said.
I'm placing my money on you knowing someone first, he said.
I'm not so sure on that, but I'll accept, I said shaking his hand. (Remember no mutual friends with the host.)
I purposefully wore a bright red dress knowing that most chicks would be in silver, black, or sequin something (NYE chick thing). I'm single, and wanted to stand out.
About an hour into the party, I look over and see someone I thought I knew from the Summit Series cruise.
Shit, I said to Mike. I've either had too many glasses of wine or I've lost the bet. Only one way to find out.
I walk through the now, very crowded party, and approach the gentleman.
Were you on the Summit cruise, I ask with a slight yell over the loud music?
No, he said. What's that?
AHH!! I said, I didn't lose!! turning back around to Mike.
The gentleman grabs me and says, wow, this is a great way to meet someone.
I laugh shaking his hand introducing myself.
The party overall was great, but I was over the "see and be seen" type of events. I want to go to my friend's house party, I said to the group.
Done, said Mike and his gf.
We waited until midnight, and as the couple kissed I downed the rest of my wine.
We were able to not only quickly get a LYFT, but also avoid surge prices due to the fact that everyone was (for the most part) where they were going to be for the rest of the evening.
We pull up at my friend's house about 15 minutes later, and the place is PACCKKEEDDD. Everyone is dressed super casual, and the vibe went from level "fist pumping well dressed frat boys" to the ever so chill "girls just wanna have fun."
We all got another round of drinks, as I made sure to introduce my friends to the only person I knew (the host).
Jen, said the host, I want to introduce you to my friend Molly.
Sure, I said smiling wondering who this person was.
OOOOHHHHHHH, I said as we walked into her back bedroom.
I came back out and switched to soda water (to stay hydrated), and I mingled among the crowd. Everyone there worked in television in some capacity. I met people whom negotiated the contracts, wrote the shows, pitched the shows, and bought the shows. Pretty much from start to finish through 10 people at this party you could (theoretically) get a show on air. For a novice like myself it was really neat getting to find out "the real deal."
After a handful of hours went by, the host realized I was a-okay as I was continuing to pick people's brains.
I was in FIERCE work mode.
Jen, she said, come here.
We went into the back bedroom again (this time with more people), and she made another "introduction."
I continued to drink water, as this one gentleman in particular started following me around. He had questions re: some tech projects I had mentioned I am involved in, and was actively seeking answers.
At this point, I was starting to go off into never never land, and the last thing I wanted to do was keep talking about work.
Not knowing who was partaking it became this weird mental standoff of ... do you know what I know? Cause I know what you know but only if you know what I know?
It had also been YEARS since I had done anything remotely similar, so I was feeling oddly overwhelmed. (Read more about that here)
The host picked up on my lack of ease, and she had one of her guy friends come over and take me to a quieter part of the house.
You doing ok, she asked?
Yeah, I said, I'm in work mode, and I need to turn it off.
Let him pet you, she said as the REALLY hot guy knelt to the ground asking if it was okay to touch me.
Yes to everything, I thought as I instructed him to play with my hair.
I pointed to my shoulders as I told him to massage there too.
I like a woman who knows what she wants, he said smiling.
Harder, I instructed.
He smiled more.
A group of us then moved over to the couch as we quietly watched the fire and laughed at the shit show that was happening all around us.
People were REALLY fucked up at this point. So much so someone actually fell into the Christmas tree.
HOW DO YOU NOT SEE A CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!
I started talking to one of the first guys I met at the party. He went to MIT so intelligent conversation was never lacking.
About an hour into our chat, I look out of the corner of my eye and see one of the guests dressed up as Wonder Woman.
Do you like my cape, she shouted as we all laughed.
Apparently the guest wanted to get in the hot tub so the host gave her a Wonder Woman swimsuit.
It was incredible, and a thing of beauty.
She then headed out back into the hot tub with three others, while the remaining soldiers (the host, myself, and the guy from MIT) kept chatting.
The hot guy who was "petting" me earlier managed to pass out spread eagle on the couch so as we were chatting loud nasal gasps for air chimed in.
We couldn't stop laughing.
What a night, I thought.
The sun was starting to come through, and I decided to call it a night.
What do I do, said the host? I can't believe I am not the last one up. They're all still in the hot tub!!
No way, I said helping her clean up en route out back to see what was happening.
Wonder Woman now no longer had her swimsuit on, but her and another gentleman were still in the hot tub, while two others had gone into the guest house.
The host walked by saying they're having sex!!!
LEMME SEE!! I said quasi running.
I saw naked guy butt as he moved away from the window.
We both laughed, as she turned off the music cuing for others to get dressed.
I mean, I'm super happy that my hot tub is seeing so much action, but I have to get to bed at some point, she said.
I went back inside and the guy from MIT offered to get me an Uber.
Thank you, I said happily accepting.
I love how this is romance in 2016, btw. Lemme get you an Uber!
A handful of not so awesome hours of sleep later, I got a text from my buddy Josh.
I met Josh through my buddy Zach whom I met through twitter. Back in 2010? he reached out asking for help with a camping sponsorship. I tweeted out his request, and within minutes was able to secure him what he needed. (I was completely shocked.) He sent this some time later ...
Zach not only accomplished his goal of traveling the Appalachian Trail on foot, but he wrote a bad ass book about it (all while suffering from West Nile he was afflicted with on his journey).
When he got back we met up and he brought his friend Josh whom had recently been named Charlie Sheen's social media intern beating out nearly a hundred thousand social savvy hopefuls. (read more here)
It's not my business to tell you how he did it, but trust the kid is fucking clever.
Josh and I stayed good friends over the years, and he indicated he was only in town for a few days. There are only a handful of people I will lose sleep for, and he is one of them.
I got to The Parlor (on Melrose) and to his credit, I didn't miss him.
Tell me everything, I said sitting down.
He spoke of passion projects, his crazy NYE adventure, politics, and his experience working for Charlie.
I know it's not something you "lead" with, but I think it's SO FUCKING bad ass that you got that internship.
Thanks, he said. It was definitely a fork in the road for me career wise.
How so, I pried.
I had two options:
1) To do my job, & keep my head down
2) Feed into the media frenzy that was around him at that time and end up on a VH1 show.
I wasn't about to fizzle out and become some pop tart.
Well played, I said laughing and agreeing.
We hung out for a handful of hours and two minutes into walking back into my apartment (for a loverly evening at home) I got a text from the party host ...
I'll sleep when I'm dead, I thought. Which at this rate might come sooner rather than later.
We then met up with some of the cast of characters from the night before. This exact moment btw, is why you have wild evenings ...
BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH FUN TRYING TO PIECE TOGETHER THE NIGHT (the next day) WHILE SOBER!!!
We chatted and exchanged photos of the shit show.
This is what happened at 7am on your front porch, said one attendee.
She then showed a photo of one of the girls from the hot tub (now mostly dressed) wrecking of shame cowered by the front door next to her uh, beau?
It was PRICELESS!!!!
What happened to you, asked another attendee to the woman that was dressed as Wonder Woman.
WE DID NOT HAVE AN ORGY, she proclaimed as we all laughed.
Throughout the next hour, somehow we came back to topic of the "now infamous orgy" and she would correct us ...
WE DID NOT HAVE AN ORGY!!!
No one could keep a straight face.
Apparently the guy she hooked up with was not only visiting but had so much fun he booked an earlier flight back home.
Nothing can top this, he said to one of his friends upon his departure.
Well, it might not have been an orgy, I said, but whatever she did, she did it right.
The hook up was so good he George Costanza-ed the rest of his vacation. Impressive.
We stayed at the restaurant a bit longer before retiring back the host's house.
Between the now, two nights of sleep and day drinking, I was not long for this world.
Rather than say good bye, I ghosted hopping in a LYFT (thanking only the host as I left).
The guy from MIT (whom had also been at dinner) then texted me ...
At this point, we had spent nearly two evenings chatting (and texting) so I did something that surprised me ...
He arrives minutes later and I pour him a glass of wine as I turn on a movie on my Apple TV.
Who am I kidding we all know what this is about I thought as we started to make out.
Minutes later we were in my bedroom, and THANK GOD I had one lone condom in my dresser.
The next morning we stayed in bed until noon, and he laughed saying, I thought I was only coming over here to cuddle.
Yeah right, I said. Even I'm not that naive.
We chatted for a bit as he got dressed and left.
As the door shut I did what any normal girl would do ...
I played this song on my Apple TV while I danced around my apartment:
A few hours later I went to Mike's bday party, and ghosted early enough to get a legit night of sleep.
It was SO awesome getting to catch up with so many old friends and as unexpected as this whole adventure was - I still wouldn't change it for the world.
Well done 2016. Can't wait for what's next!