#Fact: You can’t always get what you want, but (if you’re lucky) you get what you need
I’ve been meeting the most fantastic men on Tinder.
Re-read that sentence again, and let it sink in for a moment.
Tinder’s entire premise is built on swiping left or right to pretty, or not- so, uh, pretty people.
It’s entertainment garnished with the potential for instant gratification via proximity.
You are 7 miles away from your next hookup. SWEET!!!
See interaction from last night below:
I don’t meet people at 2 am (especially after I’ve been with friends all day/ night). Not going to happen in this lifetime or the next.
What are the odds you can meet some genuinely good people from an app used to hook up? Apparently a lot higher than I thought.
I currently have 1289 “matches” ...
Of those, I have met 4.
Out of the 4, I have seen, all but one, more than once. I’m currently averaging a 75% chance for a second date, and 25% chance for a third. Considering my previous statistics of less than 10% for a second date (103 dates in 9 months and only 11 second dates), I’d say that’s an improvement.
My buddy (and currently running for mayor of SF) @brokeassstuart used to say when it came to online dating I was “catnip for the crazy.” True, but I was also seeking adventures, and (consciously or unconsciously) seeking to find anyone that would be a good “story.” I’m too old for that now, and it has become so repetitive.
I’ve had good sex ... I’ve had GREAT sex ... I’ve had relationship sex ... I’ve had experimental sex ... I’ve done experimental drugs ... I’ve kissed boys ... I’ve kissed girls (women are better kissers based strictly on technique btw) ... I’ve had threesomes ... I’ve seen threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and I’ve lost count-omes. I’ve owned slaves .. and I’ve seen shit that I HOPE to never see again.
When life stops shocking you, you know you’ve “leveled up” & FYI that’s not a good thing.
The internet gives you a portal to whatever you want to experience in life. You have a choice if you want to experience something (you know to be) substantial, or something that just allows you to perpetually stare at shiny things.
Personally, I didn’t get very far staring at shiny things.
I’ve grown more in the last two years than I had in the previous 28. I’ve been around amazing, amazing people, and two of whom I will love for the rest of my life. (How cool is that?!)
I choose quality over quantity now. As a result, the people who come into my life are drastically different.
On Thursday, I had vino and tapas with a gentleman I had gone out with a few weeks prior. He picked me up (something I felt comfortable with), and didn’t even flinch at opening the car door.
FYI, I am not a “chirp chirp” girl.
Deal breaker right there. A guy who can’t open the door has a whole jar of worms you DEF don’t want to open.
He works in commodities, so it’s interesting to get to pick his brain on what he does exactly, and how technology has become so much of the lifeblood of stock market trading. Sounds obvious, but when you hear stories about how an email server went down costing (potentially) millions - it makes your heart hurt for that poor IT person that is most likely in the unemployment line now.
We then went to the restaurant, and like most places in Miami had to wait about an hour. He ordered a bottle of wine, and we started talking about our childhoods.
I was enamored with exploring, I admitted. I wouldn’t even notice that I was lost half the time because I would find something interesting and want to go and see more of it.
He laughed, you were one of those kids who got lost chasing a butterfly, weren’t you?
Yep, I said. It drove my parents nuts.
I can imagine, he said as we walked over to our table.
My date, a fellow lover of life experiences, invested in some property outside Panama, and explained that the laws there don’t allow for deeds. You have to physically be on the property to stake a claim to it, financially or otherwise.
Like squatting, I asked?
Exactly, he said. I had met this 75 year old man who had pledged his undying loyalty, so he watches it.
I looked at him blankly, but could tell it was at least a half truth.
He continued ...
he told me one day, that he had the seven secrets to making a lot of money.
Okay? I asked. What are they?
1) Making money with your muscles (meaning hard labor)
2) Making money with other people’s muscles
3) Making money with your brain
4) Making money with other people’s brains
5) Making money with your money
6) Making money with other people’s money
And for the seventh ... you just marry well, like the 75 year old ended up doing.
I laughed at that last part.
You’re not at all what I expected you to be, he admitted.
I raised an eyebrow.
You’re a very pure person, he said.
I smiled but also laughed at the thought that anyone could ever call me “pure.” Miami has a different level of standards, I guess.
It’s true, he said. When I first sat down with you, you were very guarded - but in a good way. You don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.
Tried it, I admitted. It didn’t get me very far.
I can see two very different sides of you. One is straight business, and you’re in complete control going after whatever you want. The other side, who I can imagine you really are, is so passionate, honest, and curious. You touch your heart when you speak. I don’t even know if you do it.
Nope, I admitted touching my heart.
Thank you. That’s very kind to say.
You are at a crossroads right now, he said. You are at the 6th step of having other people give you money to make money.
Yes, I said.
Be careful who you share your ideas with ... any ideas ... keep those like you keep your heart- guarded.
Ideas are commodities, and a lot of people are going to want to steal them from you. The spotlight allows for more opportunities, but also greater risk of ill intended individuals. Miami is known for ill intended individuals.
Thank you, I said as we finished up our food.
I left the meal thoroughly enjoying time spent, but knew in that moment, I had received exactly not what I “wanted” to hear, but what I “needed” to hear; I may have “lived” but I certainly have a lot to learn.
Not bad for a seemingly frivolous dating app.
There is a correction to this post. See text below and hilariously coincidental timing of another text ...