#Memories: Light the corners of my newsfeed & that one time I accidentally candy flipped

I'm equal parts fascinated and freaked out by the "On This Day" memory feature on Facebook. Some days I care to check, others not ... today's featured event made me smile. Mostly because, at the time, I couldn't say the whole story.

(Since am revisiting this story I am going to write to the same song that I wrote to the first go round.)

Maestro ...


<tangent> It's funny, the other day I had drinks with a tech buddy of mine that just moved here from SF, and somewhere towards the end of the night he goes "you're not at all what I expected you to be based on your sites."

Eh, I said wondering where this was going ...

You're not this self absorbed sexual deviant like I thought you would be. You're really easy to talk to.

I smiled, knowing he was half right. People always make assumptions and have their opinions. I do what I do because I like doing it. K, story. </tangent>

This morning, I woke up to this in my Facebook feed ...

Yep, that's me getting hog tied in front of a big group of my friends (and about 50 other people).

Click here to read the original post

I was on OKC at the time, and was talking to this gentleman whom had a fetish for S&M. He wanted to dominate me, yet our schedules never synced up. Then, a few days later (also on OKC) I met this OTHER guy (via a phone call conversation before trivia), whom also had the same fetish and said he needed to "hypnotize" me before we could met.

Whatever's clever I said with an audible eye roll ...

I don't remember exactly what happened, but all I know was that night I wasn't impressed, went to trivia, and he then started to read Talk Nerdy and threw this shit fit and threatened to sue me if I used his screenshots. (I always, always, always blacked out names, but kept the content.)

I do not under any circumstances stand for being threatened, so as a "fuck you" I said I'll make a video and paraphrase.

I then filmed this ...

It was COMPLETELY coincidental that at the time he continued his messaging. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried, let alone actually capture it on film.

(22,000 views and a whole lot of negative comments later -did I mention that I don't care?) I was still interested in pursuing this curiosity, so I hit up my gf Misti (whom at the time was known for being the nerdiest girl in porn - now no longer), and she connected me to the twitter feed of Bar Sinister and we got on the guest list for an S&M party they were hosting.

At the time, I was going to fly solo and just see what happened - but as I got started talking to my friends about it they were interested too, and suddenly one became 10.

While we were there (before I volunteered for the demonstration), one of my buddies stops me by the restroom and asked if I wanted to roll aka take ecstasy. (Which I had done previously a handful of times - more on that in a second.)

IN, I said taking the pill excited that I was going off to never never land.

I drank OJ that night (which apparently helps with the effects of rolling) choosing to stay away from alcohol (dehydration on this drug is no bueno).

About a half an hour to an hour into it, he came up to me feeling my arm. (Your senses go BANANAS when you're "rolling.")

Anything? he asked.

Can't feel it, I said.

He then said the one sentence you should never say when taking drugs ...

"It must not be working, let me give you another one."

I then did the one thing you should never do while taking drugs ...

I took damn the second pill.

It wasn't until I was being tied up that my senses started to heighten.

I vividly remember the Dom slamming me down (while tied up), and as my chin hit the cold steel I started to fuckinnnnngggg ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Holy shit, I thought trying to control my breath in front of literally the whole room. (I also only told one of my friends that I had taken anything. Everyone else was clueless.)

The Dom then slapped my ass to the beat of Kiss by Prince and for the first time in my life I actually started to hallucinate. It was like I could see the lyrics to the song floating in front of my face, IN FRONT OF THE DAMN CROWD!!

I never experienced this before, I thought.

When I was done, I grabbed my phone to text a friend who wanted to stop by.

I then looked down at my screen and could see things popping out. It was like the avatars came to life and started to talk to me in this beautiful, colorful rainbow.

WOOAHHHHH, I said looking at my one buddy (whom was also on whatever fucking planet I was on), do you see that too?

He shook his head as we giggled.

At that time, I had never done any sort of psychedelics so this was SERIOUSLY tripping me out. 

What is this, I said to my friend?

It's new, he said. It's called a candy flip. (Ecstasy and LSD)

CANDDYYYYYYYYYYY, I said picturing Homer Simpson gleefully dancing ...

Looking back, I should have been pissed at him, but at the time I didn't care. I was rolling harder than I had ever rolled, and this feeling was both magical and colorful.

My friends btw figured out at this point what was going on (due to being barely coherent), and we all decided to head back to my place to not be around people. (Safer that way.)

THE TREE, I said upon arriving home and staring at the very colorful Christmas tree.

Like literally staring ... at a fucking tree ... for like ten minutes.

I then went to go and get something from my room (as everyone started to come in), and in doing so I must have knocked over some water. 

My very high instinct was to say fuck it and sit down and play in the water.

So I did.


(I love being naked.)

My roommate then came in (for however long I was on the ground) asking if I was okay.

I'm always okaaayyyyyy I reply back, very happy to be alive.

She wasn't partaking, but couldn't stop laughing at how ridiculous I looked.

SHH, leave me be, I said as I continued to watch things move around my room in colorful fluidity.

<tangent> People don't believe it, but I truly am an introvert. Well, an extroverted introvert. I don't get energized from people or crowds. On the contrary, I have to pump myself up for it. When I'm high or even really drunk, I get painfully quiet and want to go to bed and watch youtube videos. </tangent>

Sometime later, I got up from the water, and decided to place my bare chest on the outside of our heater.

SO WARMMMMM, I said so happy to be alive.

My friends couldn't stop laughing.

"Jen is literally the happiest little kid when she is high," said one friend.

A bunch of us had a little make out party at that point as we watched Usher stare at us from the OnDemand Music Channel. (No sex, just making out which feels really good when you're rolling.)

"He's judging us!!" someone said as we all started laughing.

We then started talking about creativity, consciousness, tech, trends ... typical discussions among a bunch of nerds from different walks of life.

At this point, the sun was starting to come up, and I was STILL rolling.

FUCK, this is long, I thought.

I then tried to put myself to sleep (solo), and had made the now unfortunate mistake of purchasing new sheets the week before.

Checkered sheets.

My brain and stomach on drugs saw that and said no ... no ... NOOOOOOOO!!!!

I barely made it to the bathroom in time.

It took about a full 24 hours later to feel like everything was "out of my system."

At the time, I thought it was great and a hilarious story, but would never do it again.

See, in my mid 20s, I did a drug a year on my birthday. I had tried pot right after high school, and had done coke a handful of times when I was 21 (am not a fan. I clean on coke; I want to organize things, and be really quiet. I truly do not understand that drug. Different folks different strokes, er lines?).

I always always always did research beforehand (including print outs) of warning signs, reactions, and even studied the HOLY SHIT YOU'RE GOING TO DIE side effects. I was very prepared, and it was something I did just for myself to say I did it and I'm over it.

At 24 I tried E for the first time, but it wasn't until I was 25 that I learned what "rolling" actually was, and then subsequently spent three days in a hot tub with a spirithood.

Actual photo taken during said "roll" ... 

I got that shirt in some random Klout promotion ... I don't know why I'm wearing it in a hot tub.

I got that shirt in some random Klout promotion ... I don't know why I'm wearing it in a hot tub.

Couch surfing was fun. Crazy scary, but fun.

Anywho, a few birthdays later, I tried shrooms and that was another wonderful mistake.

I was with my friend, and two of her friends (presumably she was trying to set me up with one of them. Didn't happen.).

We had gone to a fancy dinner at Perch in downtown, followed by a night out at the Abbey (popular gay club with fantastic dancing and dancers).

Everyone knew that we were going to try shrooms (I learned about that whole full disclosure thing at this point), and my gf agreed to try it with me. (She was the one that actually got them. I am too naive to know where to even start or how much to pay.)

So, we take the first bit at dinner. It tastes like chocolate dirt with a slight scent of cow manure. (We did edibles.)

Gross, I said consuming the edible. About an hour later, we again did the one thing that you should never do when you're on drugs ... 

Take more.

By the time that we got to the (also) very colorful Abbey I was TRIPPPIIINNNNGGG. It was a lot mellower than the candy flip, but I couldn't stop commenting on the colors.

I was at beauty level plastic bag circa American Beauty ...

... when in reality I was really staring at crappy twinkling Christmas lights.

Anyway, we were there for about an hour and the guys bought us bottles of champagne with sparklers, and (because it was my birthday) I got pulled up on stage, given a shot, and handcuffed (apparently this is a theme) while the crowd sang Happy Birthday to me.

Well, when they gave me the shot they put it on the ground requiring me to get down on my knees (again while handcuffed meaning no hands).

OPEN WIDE, said the performer.

I go to place my mouth around the shot glass and it hits me like a bolt of lighting. Holy crap, I thought. I am tripping really hard.

I then try to take the shot, but for some reason cannot swallow (keep your mind up to the gutter people). I start shaking it trying to get my throat to open, and nothing was happening. I then put the shot down after only able to do half of it (which was really like being on stage spilling a shot all over yourself). Because I think they thought I was super drunk, they didn't press the issue, and I was released back to my friends.

HOLY SHIT, I said admitting what had happened.

I then got a text from a good friend of mine and long time crush.

(I met him when we were both being introduced to Harrison Ford at the Extraordinary Measures premiere. I thought he was super hot so I turned around and said we have the coolest story on how we met, so we need to become best friends. Hi, I'm Jen. We're still friends.)

FREE-ELLE (how he says my name). Of course I would look up, and you would be on stage.

JAVIER, I said excited. Come find me. I am by the colorful tree. It's the one with all the colors. You know ...

??? he texted back

I then scanned the crowd trying to find him, but unfortunately he had left.

I explained later what happened, and he laughed saying, of course you were on shrooms at the Abbey Free-elle. 

After that, I haven't done anything else. I've had friends try DMT and experiment with ayahuasca ceremonies. I might do one of those, but for now am pretty pleased with all the things I got to check off my life list.

How many people can say that they were hog tied while candy flipping?